As a foreigner, you may think that Australians have it easy. They live in a rich and gorgeous country with lots of cute and furry animals, good beer and even better wine.
Surely the place was dubbed “The Lucky Country” for good reason.

So you’d be forgiven to underestimate the dangers lurking Down Under.
Thankfully Bill Bryson’s brilliantly funny book Down Under made me wiser: “It is the driest, flattest, hottest, most desiccated, infertile and climatically aggressive of all the inhabited continents and still it teems with life – a large proportion of it quite deadly.
In fact, Australia has more things that can kill you in a very nasty way than anywhere else. This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually sometimes go for you.
If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback.“

Little did I know that Bill’s book doesn’t even begin to describe the real dangers of living here. Take…the Office Christmas Party. Now, you may think this is an innocent past time where you get to know your colleagues a little better. The only added risk would be one of your colleagues starting an impromptu career as the next Mariah Carey. Right?
Well, you got it all wrong mate!

The first email I received from RAC on my first day in the office was an invitation to the Staff Christmas Party. A party! How exciting! We would start the afternoon with a Stealing Santa moment, followed by a very Australian sport: Lawn Bowls.
I didn’t have any experience with this particular version of the game but I figured it couldn’t be all that different from jeux de boules or bowling. And I do know there are risks involved in those sports. As a matter of fact I am actually rather well known for my ability to throw a strike on other parties’ Bowling Alley, occasionally taking a neighbor down in the process.

Yet, I was a little bit surprised to find an attachment named ‘Risk Assessment”. It contained an Excel file with 8 identified risks for the (40 or so people) party, varying from the bus having to park in a very busy unsupervised parking lot to the potential risk of a fire alarm being triggered in the venue and staff not being aware of the emergency procedures. It also included a risk rating and preventative actions by RAC staff.
My first thought was that, clearly, the list was incomplete. After all: it did not mention anything about my bowling skills. I also thought they were pulling my leg.

But after living here for a few weeks I realized that risk management and warnings seem to be a part of everyday life in Australia. From the “Steep footpath. Please take care” sign (next to a hill so small that even by Dutch standards it doesn’t really count) to “Please ride safely” signs when you hop onto the escalator. Australians will warn you of any danger that may affect your life.

That doesn’t mean they don’t take risks. Driving on the Highway we noticed a sign “Crossing ramp” with a pictogram of a bike on it. Clearly this meant that the emergency access lane of this 110 km per hour highway is deemed fit for cycling by Australian standards. It did make me wonder who did the risk assessment here. (Take a look at this blog post for some interesting pictures on a similar road near Sydney)

Another popular past time that will add to the excitement seems to be the crossing of red lights on very busy multi-laned intersections. Be it by car, bike or on foot.
Now, in all fairness I must say that waiting for a traffic light in Perth as a pedestrian or cyclists does drive even the most patient of people to despair. After waiting for ages you get a few seconds to cross the road before it tells you to wait again for the next round. And none of it involves any of the entertainment like shown here

Perhaps it’s risky behavior like this that makes jails look like holiday parks compared Australian rail crossings (as satirical novelist Max Barry aptly describes in the first minute of this video on risk)
And if the bells don’t stop you, perhaps this world famous video Dumb Ways to Die will.

But it doesn’t explain why Christmas Parties need risk assessments or why Occupational Health and Safety staff mentioned in this story
have spent an estimated 50 hours of management and safety staff time in investigating the incident of a blister on a foot.

Imagine what Australia would look like if all the time and money spent on warning signs and stories would go to improvements such as optimizing waiting times for cyclists and pedestrians. Now that’s what I’d call lucky.